November 11, 2005
Horrific Catastrophe Yousa-People-Gonna-Die TerrorMonger Alert Con
As promised, here are the specifics for the Security Curve "Horrific Catastrophe Yousa-People-Gonna-Die TerrorMonger Alert Con". First of all, by contrast to the other traffic lights out there, we're doing more than just malware, or just terrorists, or just what's probable. Our "con" runs the gamut from the bird-flu pandemic to rampaging armies of the undead. We're all about preparedness.
To personalize the fear that you'll experience at each level, we thought it best if the "alert zones" had a mascot. As such, here are the levels of the Security Curve system - what we call affectionately "terror levels":
 Terror Level "Moderate" (Mascot: "Sleepy Kenny") - Kenny represents the lowest level of terror, "moderate" terror. Here we see Kenny sleeping it off - unaware of the panic that he is about to experience. The alert con is designed to never be at "moderate level" status - it's not scary enough. We just liked the picture. Terror Level "Cranked" (Mascot: "Kenny") - No longer sleepy, Kenny is fully cognizant of the lack of safety in the world around him. Terror sets in as he becomes aware of the truism that what can go wrong will. His terror turns to grim acceptance as he recognizes he cannot change what is. Terror Level "Heart Attack" (Mascot: "Jenny") - We see Jenny here with her party hat on. She's oblivious to all the pain, suffering, and drama going on around her. Hey, Jenny, get that grin off your face - don't you know that bird flu is coming, that the polar caps are melting, and that Longhorn is almost here?  Terror Level "OH OH OH" (Mascot: "Bunny") - The bunny is the "most totally in your face" pet ever. As such, he makes a fitting mascot for our new con. Notice his copy of "Building Internet Firewalls" in the background? Yeah - safety bunny. Terror Level "OMFG" (Mascot: "Angry Bunny") - Here he is, the bunny again. We think the expression on his face speaks for itself as to why he is the appropriate mascot for the OMFG terror level for maximum fearmongering. Note that this is the default state for the "Horrific Catastrophe Yousa-People-Gonna-Die TerrorMonger Alert Con" |