Airport Security: How to make life suck and have people love you for it.

OK, so remember when we were talking about behavioral screeners at airports? Well, apparently they’ve decided to expand that program; check it out:

But security officials here are so impressed with behavior pattern recognition techniques – which they say can distinguish a nervous traveler from a dangerous one – that they say they plan to expand their use more widely in Miami than at any other U.S. airport. If officials have their way, all 35,000 of the airport’s workers – including janitors, skycaps, even Starbucks coffee servers – will be trained to watch travelers for suspicious movements.

Awesome, so in addition to serving up vanilla latte’s, your local barrista also has law-enforcement in their scope of responsibility. Remember that when you get tempted not to tip them. So what are the suspicious activities? Apparently, they include:

…someone rifling through a trash can, an unattended bag, a young man sitting on the floor alone, or a seemingly unhappy face.

An unhappy face? Sitting on the floor alone? These are behavioral traits I exhibit on almost every business-trip I make: I’m unhappy because traveling sux and I sit on the floor alone quite a bit: usually with a laptop next to one of the jealously-guarded and carefully hidden power outlets.

This, like most of the other anti-terror measures at airports is likely to be less than effective. But will it go away? I doubt it; people just feel too good about these measures – it gives them that warm and fuzzy illusion of safety. Check out the statistics:

Among the findings of the poll of U.S. adults, taken Aug. 18-20: